yvonne szezy blog

~~~fren tat make me miserable~~~

having u as apart of my life hav been near 2 5 yrs timed...!!! living without u really feel like live in a world tat is no air... how can i continue pretending there is nothing 2 do... i'm very miserable now... being sad n cry most of da time... wat else can i do... really miss da moment tat we shared... but wat can i really do since u really wanna end da frenship tat we had... seeing u in skul... i really dunno wat 2 do... feel so sad when i each time i saw u... ppl may thing i din care n i did said tat but do u really think i can did tat... no... i cant... really cant..really dunno wat 2 do... i shared my everything wit u but seem like u r not... u keep so many secret frm me... do u noe how i feel when i noe tat... i feel like not appreciated... cuz u din appreciate da frenship tat we had... when tat day u told me tat u can still smile at me n say it... i was crying inda class then... u jz left like tat... i cant forced u 2 do anything... it's up 2 u... if u r happy if u did tat then keep it ahead... as long as u r happy... i dun mind... 5yrs time will be a memory 4 me... bitter o sweet i'll still treasured it... mayb u din think i dun care like u told other ppl... but actually i cared... really care... if not i wont even cried 4 it... i'm silly... jz very silly... u dun really care bout me... even when i was admitted into da hospital... u wasnt there... when i really need u da most... u r not there... do u noe how sad am i when i wish u r there 2 accompany me... i was crying da whole day wishing tat u could be there... but at last a guy tat hav been rejected frm me n a fren tat i noe 4 3yrs was there 4 me 4 da whole night... it's ok... when i was discharge frm da hospital... u r da 1st tat i told... but u din even care when i told u tat... it's more hurt than me being poke by so many needles in a day... watever... u din care 4 me anyway... 15 august... is ur birthday... i had promise u 2 celebrate it wit u but... i jz cant... jz cant... i dunno wat 2 say anymore my heart is broken... totally broken... jz hope u can celebrate it wit ur other frens... i wish tat u could be happy... anyway... happy birthday...!!!!

reason y i cut my hair....!

I cut my hair oredi... Actually i cut my hair 4  few reasons... First of all it is bcos i kinda can let go da person tat i really adore... I'm fooling myself 4 all tis time... There is no reason 4 me 2 stay waiting 4 him... He is 2 sellfish... N bcos of him i rejected so many good guys... Dey really deserve 2 get more than him... Now i'll let myself 2 be available again n search 4 my 1 true LOVE... So i cut my hair mean there is a new start 4 everything... Hope everything will be fine... Another reason is bcos of 1 of my fren... I trusted her n shared everything tat i had but then she keep so many secret frm me... I'm so sincere wit da relationship tat we had but she dun seem like tat... Wat she had told me really broke my heart n i  had cried, being emo 4 days... Maybe no 1 really realize wat had happen cuz i seem like ok wit it... But i'm not... Who can i share it wit... Can i continue 2 trust other ppl...?  Yes... Mayb i did ignore wat is ur feeling without noticing it by myself until u tell me tat day... U noe wat... Tat hurt me more... Fren won't keep secret frm each other n care 4 each other whenever wat had happen... U not jz keep secrets frm me but u din really care bout me at all... When i'm really down, sick o really need sum1 2 talk 2 where r u...? When i really need a fren 2 accompany me, u ignored me... When i'm talking 2 u seem like talking 2 da air cos u r not listening 2 me at all... But then i still try harder n harder 2 make sure tis friendship will last long...But now it seem like it won't... Watever lah... U din really treat me as ur fren anyway rite... Up 2 u lah... Now i dun really care oredi cos u r not at all so 4 wat i wanna do so mIany thing...? I HATE ALL TIS THING WHEN IT HAPPENED... CAN'T I JZ HAV SUM1 TAT CAN SHARED EVERYTHING WIT ME... A FREN TAT IS TRULY A FREN...!

last basketball tournament...

erm... i think it'll be my last basketball tournament... really sad tat i can't play anymore after tis... i really like basketball... i dun wanna stop playing... but i think i can't... i'm going 2 join a cabin crew course n now on da registration progress... after tis i'll be busy working n din hav time 4 my family oso... so i think it'll be da last tournament tat i'll play... n it'll also be da last time tat meet him... after tis i won't even noe were we'll be n din hav da chance 2 meet anymore... i'm really upset bout it... really hope there is sum1 tat can understand how i feel now... i dun mind getting myself pack wit all those school thing n go 4 basketball practice straight away after my school... no matter how tired i am... i'll still go 4 it... i learn so much frm it n i get 2  noe myself frm it... wat i get frm, it's priceless... how can i stop... n through basketball i got 2 noe him... it's appart of me now... left it mean cutting a part of my body off... how can i do tat 2 myself... i can't... help me pls... i dun wan tis 2 happen... mo matter wat will happen now... i'll try my best 2 get da highest achievement b4 i end it... n i hope my relationship wit him will turn better... hope everything will be fine...

5201314... i love u 4 ever...!

20th may 2008... is da date tat i'll nvr 4get... i told u how i had felt 4 u 4 all tis time... at last i tell out how i feel... i'll nvr regret bout it... i'll nvr regret tat i had fell 4 u... no matter wat u do i'll always be there 2 support u... no matter how is da ending btw both of us... i'll still accept it... i'll assume u as my friend... n i'll adore u as da way tat i adore u b4... my feeling 4 u will nvr change till i found another person tat i can really felt 4 like i felt 4 u... miss u so much.. i thought we won't hav da change 2 meet each other again but who noe we met again... so happy tat i met u again... hope 2 c u soon... muz jia you 4 ur coming tournament... i'll support u 4 all da time...

i'll miss u...!

26th April 2008... it's the last day that we both meet... really sad cause at last we both didn't talk to each other... really hope can have a better friendship... i'll always treasure the memories that we both share... i really hope you'll like my goodbye present... i don't think we will meet each other anymore... on december i'll take cabin crew course and if i pass it mean i won't be around here already... anyway you will still be my friend... once a friend forever is a friend, no matter what had happen...! i'll always miss you...!

thank u honey...

you are honey... i'm bee... sweet forever... honey thanks 4 your present... really really love it... i know you put lots of effort in it... i'll appreciate it... muuuuaaaccckkk... love you so much... really love that birthday present that you gave me... thanks for being there when i needed you... thanks for being my everything... i'll never forget you... you'll always be in my heart... can't wait to celebrate my birthday with you... 16th april 2008... maybe it'll be the last birthday that you celebrate with me... so sad... do not care what will happen i'll celebrate your birthday with you on 15th august 2008... i promise... can't wait for tomorrow anymore... we meet in the basketball court and celebrate it together... tomorrow must jia you o... we must win o... we are strong when we together... love you so much... muuuuuuaaaacccckkkkk... love you so much pei pei... friend for eternity...muuuaaaaccccckkkkk.... wanna hug u now lah... hehe... give you a kiss later.... haha...

i'm stress out... help me pls...

erm... i dunno wat happen 2 me lately... i jz realize tat i hav done so many thing tat jz making a fool of myself... i think i'm 2 naive... totally believe in miracle... i'm so stupid... wat should i do... i've waited 4 him 2 yrs n more... how should i jz giv up like tat... i really relly luv him... no matter how deeply i hated him 2 wat he had done 2 me but still all our sweet memories will make me 4get everything include how broken my heart is... i jz can't accept any1 into my life yet... jz can't... it'll be not fair all of u... i'm really sorry... jz giv me time 2 k... i really dunno wat 2 do... sumthing tat i can't let go so it's really hard 4 me 2 face it... it's all bout me... nothing is wrong wit any1 of u... all i need is time...

broken hearted...

spending time alone in valentine is o.k with me... but because of something make me feel worst... i cried for 3 hours but no one care... i know i'm nobody for everyone but still i'm a human with feeling... i'm hurt not because i didn't have someone to spend my valentine with but someone had hurt my heart very deeply... anyone can ease me.. i'm really hurt... help...

sad valentine... (o_o)

admire someone is better than couplling... i had confess to someone that i really like but he didn't give me any answer... i don't really know whether i wanna continue waiting or i just be friend with him and that all... so confused... i really really like him... he is the first that i really fall to... what should i do... keep waiting..? valentine..? i'm so lonely... i didn't have anyone to celebrate with ... really sad and broken heart... really hope he can celebrate with me...

lonely chinese new year... (^_^)

erm... suddenly feel so damn lonely 4 tis year cny... my dad is not coming back 4 tis cny... now he is working in vietnam... so sad... eventhough he did sumthing tat make me really hate him... but still he is my dad... now we r not living in da same house but still sumtimes i miss him... really hope i can meet him in tis cny... so lonely... any1 tat can ease my loneliness... so lonely... help... sos... pray 4 me so he'll come back 4 tis cny n celebrate 2gether...